I know I just posted, but I want this to have its own post. I'm going to put down a
poem I wrote today. I'm really quite proud of it and would like to share it with everyone. It's called "How long will it last?" with the alternate title of "I want it all but expect nothing"
How long will it last?
I remember you claiming I was the one
Who pulled the sheets up over your head at night,
Only to wake and find you'd done it yourself.
And so I pulled them down around your shoulders,
And kissed the back of your neck.
Your skin was warm and soft, and smelled of sleep,
And so I did it every morning thereafter until there were no more.
When you cried out in your sleep, shattered peace,
I offered you my strength, for there is no shame in comfort,
And you were man enough to take it from me.
A perfect resting place for my head,
The hollow of your shoulder seemed meant for me,
Where you could kiss my hair and hold my hand,
And I hadn't felt so safe in a long, long time.
I would trace your collar bone beneath your skin,
Writing nonsense love stories with my fingertips
That drove you wild even if you couldn't read them.
Remembering all the little things became extremely important
To me and even now I can see you in detail,
But the details tear me apart. Maybe I'd have been better forgetting.
I left you that morning, after kissing your sleep scented
Skin one last time, my heart screaming that I should
Turn back, stop this and return to you.
I heard your voice in my mind, the sounds of you
As I stepped out into the morning, still wanting to turn,
But my feet walked on, locked into step, taking me back
To a world lacking what I hadn't even known it missed.
Suddenly without you, being alone once desired, now strange.
And I kept wishing I was still by your side,
Wondering where the time went and why it had to be gone.
I searched for you in my dreams, my body questing into the open,
Until I would wake on the other side of the bed,
Cradling emptiness and a blank wall, and I missed you.
Now I hope that I'll someday see you again, even if I know
That the thing I desire most from you I cannot have.
But laying by your side, kissing you as you sleep, would be enough.
Thanks for reading, and I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions about it! Cheers!
![[personal profile]](http://s.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
